Thursday, August 16, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Unconscious. I'm not sure about my feeling. And how is that even possible?!
And I keep staying away. I keep turning my face around as if I didn't saw them (them, because I'm not gonna tell you who that person, and what they gender is.). I keep ignoring them. I don't text them. I don't talk to them. It hurts. It still hurts.
And I keep staying away. I keep turning my face around as if I didn't saw them (them, because I'm not gonna tell you who that person, and what they gender is.). I keep ignoring them. I don't text them. I don't talk to them. It hurts. It still hurts.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
..
im over it. im over him. i dont care anymore. i dont spare a minute to check his text anymore. i dont wait for him. i dont wish for him to come back. i dont want it the way it used to be. i know it never meant to last. i dont regret it. im okay. im fine. im good. im done. theres no use of being sad. theres no need to analyze it. i dont need any reason for this. everything's crystal clear. and it's time for me to move on.
.
I DON'T CARE.
That's it. I'm tired of caring way too much. I'm done. From now on, I won't care about any damn problem around me. I'm sick of crying, overthinking, being sad, angry, depressed, desperate, mad, ignored, betrayed, everything. I've had enough of trusting people then being left eventually. I'm done regretting.
Anyway, my mom told me that I shouldn't really care about what people think about me. At the end, I live for myself. And yeah, I'll do it from now on.
That's it. I'm tired of caring way too much. I'm done. From now on, I won't care about any damn problem around me. I'm sick of crying, overthinking, being sad, angry, depressed, desperate, mad, ignored, betrayed, everything. I've had enough of trusting people then being left eventually. I'm done regretting.
Anyway, my mom told me that I shouldn't really care about what people think about me. At the end, I live for myself. And yeah, I'll do it from now on.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
If you can't get someone off of your mind they are probably supposed to be there.
But they're not. And it hurts like shit.
Friday, July 20, 2012
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASSYIFAA!!
Hi. Okay, so today's July 21st, the first day of Ramadhan (I'm not hungry btw :D) and of course, Assyifaa Yulisna Haris aka Sheep's 14th birthday!! I'm as excited as she is, or even more. Well, now that I have nothing to do, I shall post one portrait of her (only one, because I can't find any single pic of her ANYWHERE. Ugh screw you Sheep) :3 Cekidottt.
it's the three of us actually.. im the one wearing red shirt and Vika's wearing grey shirt. whatever. Sheep is the one with glasses.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
.. No.
No. I'm not a nice girl. I'm not that smart, pretty girl who has a pure heart. I'm not that girl who can tell jokes and make everyone laugh. I'm not good at starting a conversation, and I don't try to keep in touch with old "friends". I don't always text back. I don't let random people enter my life, and I don't let them go easily too. I don't want to smile all the time, I honestly don't want to be surrounded by a lot of people, even if they're my friends. I don't like to go out with "friends", I'd rather go all alone. I love those moments when I can find a place for myself, with no one besides me. It feels amazing. I don't have to start a conversation, I don't have to make someone smile, I don't have to ask back, I don't have to make sure that nobody gets bored, and most of all, I can finally think about myself, only myself, and not with the world. I'm sick of thinking about anyone else but me. Being alone is like an expensive day spa for me.
But one thing for sure, I'm great at hiding all of the feelings above inside.
Bittersweet..
Bittersweet. What a life. Yeah, we get hurt, we laugh, we cry, we sing, we smile, we ignore, we care, we love, we hate, and they're simply the part of life. Without them, what can make your life colorful?
But then again, sometimes things are not going the way we want them to. Sometimes, some things suddenly turn around and let you down. Even when you didn't expect it. You know, it just happens. It's out of your control, and it's definitely something that you wish was never going to happen. You'll probably be sad for, I don't know, a quite long time, and you'll curse a lot, blaming the life and its unfair progress. Yeah, you'll be sad. And desperate. And dying inside.
This feeling just happened to me a couple days ago (exactly a couple days ago). Um, how do I start it? Someone, whose by chance is very important to me, said that, um, everything's over. You know what I mean, don't you? I'm sorry if you don't, because it's really hard for me to explain it to all of you without seeming like a huge drama queen. What I'm trying to say is that this person left me, or (that so-called) us, and all the memories that we've had together. You know, the old "us" is becoming "just friends" from now on.
Yeah, I was shocked. But did I cry? No. Did I feel terrible and sad and desperate? No. Did I break down and end up hating him? No, of course not. As far as I know, I'm completely fine. Of course this is a pretty huge deal and I still can't believe that it's happening so fast, but somehow, I'm okay.
Listen up. It's not that I don't care about him. Of course I do, I really do. It's just that.. Why being so sad? Being sad is not even worth it. Nothing lasts forever, you know? At the end, everyone will leave you. It's a part of life. A little part of life. I always know that. We can't just try to keep someone to stay in our lives forever; that's just impossible. I'm not saying that everyone is fake, but face it, they will go. They will. A lot of people had came into my life, and yeah, some of them have already walked away. Well, so what? That's what life is all about.
I used to think, why would I allow someone to enter my life if they would leave me eventually? It was such an ambiguous question that I didn't even have the answer. But now, as I grow up, I realize that I don't actually have to ask it. Since I know that everyone will walk away someday, what matters most is how they spend the moment when they're still with us. It's about how they treat us, how they love us, and how they think about us when they stay still. If I had such an amazing moment, why would I regret it? Why would I be sad about it?
Here's my humble opinion: when someone walk away and leave a good memory behind to make you smile, there's absolutely nothing to be cried about. Do not ever regret it. I mean, although it didn't last forever, you did have a good time didn't you? Just remember that one moment, and you'll be very thankful for your life.
Bye. xx.
But then again, sometimes things are not going the way we want them to. Sometimes, some things suddenly turn around and let you down. Even when you didn't expect it. You know, it just happens. It's out of your control, and it's definitely something that you wish was never going to happen. You'll probably be sad for, I don't know, a quite long time, and you'll curse a lot, blaming the life and its unfair progress. Yeah, you'll be sad. And desperate. And dying inside.
This feeling just happened to me a couple days ago (exactly a couple days ago). Um, how do I start it? Someone, whose by chance is very important to me, said that, um, everything's over. You know what I mean, don't you? I'm sorry if you don't, because it's really hard for me to explain it to all of you without seeming like a huge drama queen. What I'm trying to say is that this person left me, or (that so-called) us, and all the memories that we've had together. You know, the old "us" is becoming "just friends" from now on.
Yeah, I was shocked. But did I cry? No. Did I feel terrible and sad and desperate? No. Did I break down and end up hating him? No, of course not. As far as I know, I'm completely fine. Of course this is a pretty huge deal and I still can't believe that it's happening so fast, but somehow, I'm okay.
Listen up. It's not that I don't care about him. Of course I do, I really do. It's just that.. Why being so sad? Being sad is not even worth it. Nothing lasts forever, you know? At the end, everyone will leave you. It's a part of life. A little part of life. I always know that. We can't just try to keep someone to stay in our lives forever; that's just impossible. I'm not saying that everyone is fake, but face it, they will go. They will. A lot of people had came into my life, and yeah, some of them have already walked away. Well, so what? That's what life is all about.
I used to think, why would I allow someone to enter my life if they would leave me eventually? It was such an ambiguous question that I didn't even have the answer. But now, as I grow up, I realize that I don't actually have to ask it. Since I know that everyone will walk away someday, what matters most is how they spend the moment when they're still with us. It's about how they treat us, how they love us, and how they think about us when they stay still. If I had such an amazing moment, why would I regret it? Why would I be sad about it?
Here's my humble opinion: when someone walk away and leave a good memory behind to make you smile, there's absolutely nothing to be cried about. Do not ever regret it. I mean, although it didn't last forever, you did have a good time didn't you? Just remember that one moment, and you'll be very thankful for your life.
Bye. xx.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
OSIS! xx
Okeee. Kemarin, setelah aku ngetweet soal blog ini, tiba-tiba ada temen yang mention:
"Kali-kali dong ceritain OSIS/PK di blog kamu =) biar terkenal gitu =))"
NAH. FINALLY. GUE DAPET REQUEST!!! Jadi, tanpa pikir panjang, aku langsung mikir, "Besok wajib bikin artikel di blog!" :') Anyway, thanks sarannya ya.. Sekarang aku bakal ceritain tentang OSIS. *OSIS dulu ya, si gue belum terlalu kenal PK sih.. Maybe later;)*. Maap kalo bahasanya campur aduk Indonesia-Inggris :)
Desember 2011 kemarin, aku, dan 22 orang lainnya, di-Sertijab-kan sebagai OSIS angkatan 2011/2012. Kalian gak akan bisa bayangin deh, gimana bahagianya kita. Setelah empat (eh, lima?) kali diforum oleh teteh-teteh dan akang-akang yang kalau ngomong bikin kita berasa dieksekusi, akhirnya kita resmi juga jadi "anak OSIS". Berasa keren gitu ya. Goal buat numpang eksis pun tercapai sudah.. *EHH NGGAK! BOHONG BOHONG SUMPAH*
Ok, flashback dikit ya. Ketika para teteh dan akang memutuskan buat ngirim kita ke forum bersama (semacam ospek, tapi di satu ruangan dan dilaksanakan berbarengan), udah ada sedikit rasa kompak yang terbentuk. Misalnya, waktu kita kompakan gak akan ngejar teteh-teteh dan akang-akang waktu mereka "pundung." Udah kerasa banget sense of belonging-nya, gimana kita bakal kompak, gimana teamwork kita bakal langsung terbentuk, meskipun waktu itu kita belum melaksanakan that so-called Sertijab.
Belum juga 2 minggu kita selesai Sertijab, tiba-tiba Pak Tursino (frontalin aja, gak apa-apa kan?) ngumpulin kita buat rapat dan BAM! Beliau nyuruh kita buat menyelenggarakan Porseni. Secepatnya. Period.
We were shocked. Gila aja, baru ngejabat 2 minggu, tanpa pengalaman apapun, udah disuruh bikin Porseni lagi?! We thought it was impossible. Yah, sebenernya, it is impossible. Tapi somehow, kita bisa ngejalanin perintah sekolah dengan.... yah, sangat baik.
Bukan. Porseni pertama kita bukan acara gede gila-gilaan yang melibatkan sponsor, orang luar, guest star, dan hadiah yang mahal. It was more than that. Bukan dari segi kemewahan acaranya, tapi gimana acara itu berbekas di memori warga sekolah, dan gimana kerasnya kita kerja buat event pertama angkatan kita. Percaya deh, aku tahu. Aku tahu seberapa besarnya pengorbanan kita buat Porseni, setakut apa kita karena sibuk mikirin Porseni, tapi kita berusaha, and we made it. Once again, acara kita gak besar, tapi if you ever tried to appreciate the progress rather than the result, you'd be proud of us.
Setelah itu, liburan semester (kata liburan itu indah banget ya, ada kebahagiaan tersendiri yang muncul tiap nulis kata itu. Is it just me?). We had time to take a rest for a little bit, dan ketika sampai ke waktu sekolah, kita kerja lagi.
"Proyek" (cie) kita yang pertama untuk semester 2 adalah LDKS. LDKS itu.... sejenis camping, tapi diperuntukkan buat anak kelas 7, dengan metode yang berbasis "meningkatkan kemandirian dan kepemimpinan siswa, serta membangun akhlak yang lebih baik." Aku sih gak terlalu peduli. Aku bahkan gak bisa mandiri dan berakhlak mulia.
Tapi, LDKS kita ini berlangsung seru.... lumayan banget. Materinya sih masih ngikutin para pendahulu kita yang udah masuk SMA, tapi entah kenapa, kenangannya banyaaakk banget. Bukan cuma anak OSIS doang yang ikut, ada kakak kelas, perwakilan ekskul, etece etece. Tapi yang jelas seru. Banyak games, dan aku cukup menikmati suasana di sana.
Selanjutnya ada Maulid Nabi. Seru. Keren. What more can I say? Aku sakit sih ketika H-1 dan semua orang hectic nyiapin event, tapi my friend texted me and he said that mereka stay di sekolah sampai jam 9. Dijamin seru deh. Sayang banget aku gak ikut, dan malah ngebangke di rumah sambil ngeliatin layar hape.... Miris.
Bulan Mei, kita menyelenggarakan event besar terakhir yang amat sangat super sekali bikin capek: Pensi. It was like something that we, especially I could never ever forget, and we went through a lot of shits and craps back then. Just for the event. Banyak kritik, banyak kecaman, banyak orang yang act against Pensi, dan beberapa hal berbalik jadi sesuatu yang gak kita harapkan. Ada momen dimana kita ngerasa down banget, dan mikir bahwa gak mungkin kita bisa ngelanjutin event ini. Tapi kita bisa, dan kita berhasil.
Sekarang kita lagi ngurusin MOPD (eh. MPOD? MOS? Apa sih namanya?) buat anak kelas 7 yang baru masuk nanti. Mau gimana acaranya, masih belum ada bayangan. Tapi aku yakin kok, acaranya bakal sukses. Kenapa nggak sih?
Well.. The point from all my nonsense talking is, meskipun OSIS gak sempurna dan punya banyak masalah, tapi basically, kita ini kompak. Kenapa? Aku juga nggak tahu. Mungkin karakter kita sama, entahlah. But I found something really important about OSIS and I'm pretty sure I can never find it anywhere else: friendship. Jujur, aku gak pernah ngerasa sekompak ini sama kelompok manapun. Kita gak sempurna, tapi entah gimana, kita bertahan sampai sekarang, dan ketidaksempurnaan itu hampir selalu berhasil diperbaiki. Yeah, kita pernah berantem. Kita pernah saling sindir. Tapi apa itu bikin kita berhenti dan mendadak turun jabatan? Nggak, kan. Maybe we do belong together. Maybe it's our destiny to become a group, to become that "one thing" the teachers are talking about. We made mistakes, we have flaws, but we did and have it together, as a unity. What could be better?
I found love, friends, responsibility, and joy, that I probably will never find it anywhere, even if I traveled around the world. Keren sekali bagaimana kita bisa merasa begitu dekat dengan orang-orang yang dulunya sama sekali tidak kita kenal.
P.S.:
1. maap kalo grammarnya salah, maap kalo ceritanya ngelantur, maap kalo ngomongnya gak jelas, maap kalo gak semua event disebutin, maap kalo ngebosenin.. maklum belum makan..
2. buat yang belum tau anggota osis tuh siapa aja, nih: Adit, Mita, Auliya, Ahmad, Realdi, Shaumi, Wahyu, Yuni, Ilham, Cici, Dewi, Shinta, Reza, Dinda, Rully, Dephita, Indra, Syifa, Debby, Fazri, Granita, Anaknya Michael Jackson, Fania.. xx
"Kali-kali dong ceritain OSIS/PK di blog kamu =) biar terkenal gitu =))"
NAH. FINALLY. GUE DAPET REQUEST!!! Jadi, tanpa pikir panjang, aku langsung mikir, "Besok wajib bikin artikel di blog!" :') Anyway, thanks sarannya ya.. Sekarang aku bakal ceritain tentang OSIS. *OSIS dulu ya, si gue belum terlalu kenal PK sih.. Maybe later;)*. Maap kalo bahasanya campur aduk Indonesia-Inggris :)
Desember 2011 kemarin, aku, dan 22 orang lainnya, di-Sertijab-kan sebagai OSIS angkatan 2011/2012. Kalian gak akan bisa bayangin deh, gimana bahagianya kita. Setelah empat (eh, lima?) kali diforum oleh teteh-teteh dan akang-akang yang kalau ngomong bikin kita berasa dieksekusi, akhirnya kita resmi juga jadi "anak OSIS". Berasa keren gitu ya. Goal buat numpang eksis pun tercapai sudah.. *EHH NGGAK! BOHONG BOHONG SUMPAH*
Ok, flashback dikit ya. Ketika para teteh dan akang memutuskan buat ngirim kita ke forum bersama (semacam ospek, tapi di satu ruangan dan dilaksanakan berbarengan), udah ada sedikit rasa kompak yang terbentuk. Misalnya, waktu kita kompakan gak akan ngejar teteh-teteh dan akang-akang waktu mereka "pundung." Udah kerasa banget sense of belonging-nya, gimana kita bakal kompak, gimana teamwork kita bakal langsung terbentuk, meskipun waktu itu kita belum melaksanakan that so-called Sertijab.
Belum juga 2 minggu kita selesai Sertijab, tiba-tiba Pak Tursino (frontalin aja, gak apa-apa kan?) ngumpulin kita buat rapat dan BAM! Beliau nyuruh kita buat menyelenggarakan Porseni. Secepatnya. Period.
We were shocked. Gila aja, baru ngejabat 2 minggu, tanpa pengalaman apapun, udah disuruh bikin Porseni lagi?! We thought it was impossible. Yah, sebenernya, it is impossible. Tapi somehow, kita bisa ngejalanin perintah sekolah dengan.... yah, sangat baik.
Bukan. Porseni pertama kita bukan acara gede gila-gilaan yang melibatkan sponsor, orang luar, guest star, dan hadiah yang mahal. It was more than that. Bukan dari segi kemewahan acaranya, tapi gimana acara itu berbekas di memori warga sekolah, dan gimana kerasnya kita kerja buat event pertama angkatan kita. Percaya deh, aku tahu. Aku tahu seberapa besarnya pengorbanan kita buat Porseni, setakut apa kita karena sibuk mikirin Porseni, tapi kita berusaha, and we made it. Once again, acara kita gak besar, tapi if you ever tried to appreciate the progress rather than the result, you'd be proud of us.
Setelah itu, liburan semester (kata liburan itu indah banget ya, ada kebahagiaan tersendiri yang muncul tiap nulis kata itu. Is it just me?). We had time to take a rest for a little bit, dan ketika sampai ke waktu sekolah, kita kerja lagi.
"Proyek" (cie) kita yang pertama untuk semester 2 adalah LDKS. LDKS itu.... sejenis camping, tapi diperuntukkan buat anak kelas 7, dengan metode yang berbasis "meningkatkan kemandirian dan kepemimpinan siswa, serta membangun akhlak yang lebih baik." Aku sih gak terlalu peduli. Aku bahkan gak bisa mandiri dan berakhlak mulia.
Tapi, LDKS kita ini berlangsung seru.... lumayan banget. Materinya sih masih ngikutin para pendahulu kita yang udah masuk SMA, tapi entah kenapa, kenangannya banyaaakk banget. Bukan cuma anak OSIS doang yang ikut, ada kakak kelas, perwakilan ekskul, etece etece. Tapi yang jelas seru. Banyak games, dan aku cukup menikmati suasana di sana.
Selanjutnya ada Maulid Nabi. Seru. Keren. What more can I say? Aku sakit sih ketika H-1 dan semua orang hectic nyiapin event, tapi my friend texted me and he said that mereka stay di sekolah sampai jam 9. Dijamin seru deh. Sayang banget aku gak ikut, dan malah ngebangke di rumah sambil ngeliatin layar hape.... Miris.
Bulan Mei, kita menyelenggarakan event besar terakhir yang amat sangat super sekali bikin capek: Pensi. It was like something that we, especially I could never ever forget, and we went through a lot of shits and craps back then. Just for the event. Banyak kritik, banyak kecaman, banyak orang yang act against Pensi, dan beberapa hal berbalik jadi sesuatu yang gak kita harapkan. Ada momen dimana kita ngerasa down banget, dan mikir bahwa gak mungkin kita bisa ngelanjutin event ini. Tapi kita bisa, dan kita berhasil.
Sekarang kita lagi ngurusin MOPD (eh. MPOD? MOS? Apa sih namanya?) buat anak kelas 7 yang baru masuk nanti. Mau gimana acaranya, masih belum ada bayangan. Tapi aku yakin kok, acaranya bakal sukses. Kenapa nggak sih?
Well.. The point from all my nonsense talking is, meskipun OSIS gak sempurna dan punya banyak masalah, tapi basically, kita ini kompak. Kenapa? Aku juga nggak tahu. Mungkin karakter kita sama, entahlah. But I found something really important about OSIS and I'm pretty sure I can never find it anywhere else: friendship. Jujur, aku gak pernah ngerasa sekompak ini sama kelompok manapun. Kita gak sempurna, tapi entah gimana, kita bertahan sampai sekarang, dan ketidaksempurnaan itu hampir selalu berhasil diperbaiki. Yeah, kita pernah berantem. Kita pernah saling sindir. Tapi apa itu bikin kita berhenti dan mendadak turun jabatan? Nggak, kan. Maybe we do belong together. Maybe it's our destiny to become a group, to become that "one thing" the teachers are talking about. We made mistakes, we have flaws, but we did and have it together, as a unity. What could be better?
I found love, friends, responsibility, and joy, that I probably will never find it anywhere, even if I traveled around the world. Keren sekali bagaimana kita bisa merasa begitu dekat dengan orang-orang yang dulunya sama sekali tidak kita kenal.
P.S.:
1. maap kalo grammarnya salah, maap kalo ceritanya ngelantur, maap kalo ngomongnya gak jelas, maap kalo gak semua event disebutin, maap kalo ngebosenin.. maklum belum makan..
2. buat yang belum tau anggota osis tuh siapa aja, nih: Adit, Mita, Auliya, Ahmad, Realdi, Shaumi, Wahyu, Yuni, Ilham, Cici, Dewi, Shinta, Reza, Dinda, Rully, Dephita, Indra, Syifa, Debby, Fazri, Granita, Anaknya Michael Jackson, Fania.. xx
Friday, June 29, 2012
STOP SCREAMING. YOU'RE MAKING ME NUTS.
You do know how much I hate the sound of it right? How people scream at the top of their lungs, how they feel so terrified about something that they can't help but scream. You know, just like in horror movies: the women are screaming super loud when they see the killer. And I HATE IT.
There are other ways to express your fear, really. Just don't scream. It scares me, you know. It's scary how loud someone can make a noise. And no, there's nothing good about screaming. All the sounds in it are picturing sorrow, pain, hate, and desperation. I hate those feelings. I don't know why; I just do.
So stop screaming. I beg you.
There are other ways to express your fear, really. Just don't scream. It scares me, you know. It's scary how loud someone can make a noise. And no, there's nothing good about screaming. All the sounds in it are picturing sorrow, pain, hate, and desperation. I hate those feelings. I don't know why; I just do.
So stop screaming. I beg you.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Best Fraandss.
Okay, I'm going to tell you about my best friends: Vika and Assyifaa, againnn.
Ok, sebelumnya, aku kasih tahu dulu satu fact penting tentang kita: kita udah saling kenal selama 8, menjelang 9 tahun. Yah, technically. Aku sama Vika udah sekelas sejak kelas 1 SD, tapi kita kenal Assyifaa juga, karena kelasnya lumayan deket. Pokoknya, ketika kita bertiga mulai sahabatan pas kelas 5 SD, kita udah bener-bener saling kenal dan tahu reputasi masing-masing.
Selama 9 tahun kita sahabatan, jujur deh, aku belum pernah sama sekali (oke kalimatnya gak efektif) nemuin sahabat kayak mereka. I'm telling you why:
1. Kita gak bisa mesra. Bukan mesra kayak orang yang baru nikah, tapi mesra dalam arti... Apa ya? Saling berbaik hati deh. Kalian pernah kan, liat dua orang sahabatan, dan di setiap SMS/mention/chat message, mereka selalu pakai "Beb" atau "Say" atau (yang lagi trend) :--* . Atau mereka sering bilang kangen ke satu sama lain, pengen main bareng (banyak yang pengen dicurhatin katanya...), bahkan sehari gak main pun kangennya minta ampun. Bukannya aku gak kangen sama mereka berdua, tapi kalaupun iya, kita gak akan saling jujur. Hahah, mustahil deh. Jangankan manggil Beb, muji di depan orangnya aja udah gengsi. Pernah, gak sengaja, aku manggil Vika "cantik". Hasilnya? Udah deh. The nightmare did come true.
2. Kita selalu saling ejek. Ini serius. Coba deh kalian ikut kita main, dan kalian bakal tahu seberapa parahnya kita saling ejek dan berantem. Semua hal bisa kita bikin bahan sindiran buat satu sama lain. And no, we never get offended. Justru kalau salah satu dari kita berhenti ngejek yang lain, berarti ada yang salah. Entah diputusin pacar, susah move on, ditembak sama CS-nya.. *eh maap* atau dibilang tukang nyubit + mukul *ehhh maap keceplosan*. SEE? Bahkan ketika nulis artikel ini pun, aku gak bisa nahan diri buat nyindir mereka.
3. We have a bazillion things in common. No joke. Meskipun pada dasarnya karakter kita beda-beda, but at the end, you'll be surprised on how many things that we can share together. Contohnya, aku sama Vika sama-sama sukaaaaaaa Michael, Greyson, Chloe Moretz, etc etc etc etc. Aku sama Assyifaa gak suka sama banyak hal yang sama. Komentar kita sama terhadap berbagai hal. Makanya kita gak pernah kehabisan topik buat dibahas. Weird, I know, tapi aku rasa, what's so wrong with being weird when you can do it with your best friends?
4. We have dirty minds........ Okaaayyyy this is awkward. Gak seharusnya sih aku ngaku karena akhirnya aib kita kebuka, tapi yah, that's the truth *innocent face*. Bahkan sejak kita kelas 6, aku sama Vika selalu nganggap kalau Michael itu sexy, hot, dan kita bisa kena Mikegasm kapan aja *OMG FORGIVE ME PLEASE I'M JUST A CHILD*. Sekarang, kita sibuk mantengin timeline berisi tweet tentang Grenis... *SHITTT WHY AM I CONFESSING THIS*. Uhm, okay.
So, finally.... The point is, WE'RE NOT NORMAL. Kita bakal selalu saling ejek satu sama lain, kita bakal saling jenggut, saling pukul, saling gigit, tapi kita gak akan pernah ngelakuin itu di belakang. Kalau kita marah, kita marah di depan. Aku yakin, haqqul yakin these two girls bukan backstabber. Aku percaya sama mereka, dan aku tahu, apapun yang terjadi, kita gak akan pernah ngekhianatin persahabatan ini. Our friendship is precious dan cuma ada satu di dunia<333
P.S.: i may laugh when they fall, but when i finish, i'll help them to stand up again.
Ok, sebelumnya, aku kasih tahu dulu satu fact penting tentang kita: kita udah saling kenal selama 8, menjelang 9 tahun. Yah, technically. Aku sama Vika udah sekelas sejak kelas 1 SD, tapi kita kenal Assyifaa juga, karena kelasnya lumayan deket. Pokoknya, ketika kita bertiga mulai sahabatan pas kelas 5 SD, kita udah bener-bener saling kenal dan tahu reputasi masing-masing.
Selama 9 tahun kita sahabatan, jujur deh, aku belum pernah sama sekali (oke kalimatnya gak efektif) nemuin sahabat kayak mereka. I'm telling you why:
1. Kita gak bisa mesra. Bukan mesra kayak orang yang baru nikah, tapi mesra dalam arti... Apa ya? Saling berbaik hati deh. Kalian pernah kan, liat dua orang sahabatan, dan di setiap SMS/mention/chat message, mereka selalu pakai "Beb" atau "Say" atau (yang lagi trend) :--* . Atau mereka sering bilang kangen ke satu sama lain, pengen main bareng (banyak yang pengen dicurhatin katanya...), bahkan sehari gak main pun kangennya minta ampun. Bukannya aku gak kangen sama mereka berdua, tapi kalaupun iya, kita gak akan saling jujur. Hahah, mustahil deh. Jangankan manggil Beb, muji di depan orangnya aja udah gengsi. Pernah, gak sengaja, aku manggil Vika "cantik". Hasilnya? Udah deh. The nightmare did come true.
2. Kita selalu saling ejek. Ini serius. Coba deh kalian ikut kita main, dan kalian bakal tahu seberapa parahnya kita saling ejek dan berantem. Semua hal bisa kita bikin bahan sindiran buat satu sama lain. And no, we never get offended. Justru kalau salah satu dari kita berhenti ngejek yang lain, berarti ada yang salah. Entah diputusin pacar, susah move on, ditembak sama CS-nya.. *eh maap* atau dibilang tukang nyubit + mukul *ehhh maap keceplosan*. SEE? Bahkan ketika nulis artikel ini pun, aku gak bisa nahan diri buat nyindir mereka.
3. We have a bazillion things in common. No joke. Meskipun pada dasarnya karakter kita beda-beda, but at the end, you'll be surprised on how many things that we can share together. Contohnya, aku sama Vika sama-sama sukaaaaaaa Michael, Greyson, Chloe Moretz, etc etc etc etc. Aku sama Assyifaa gak suka sama banyak hal yang sama. Komentar kita sama terhadap berbagai hal. Makanya kita gak pernah kehabisan topik buat dibahas. Weird, I know, tapi aku rasa, what's so wrong with being weird when you can do it with your best friends?
4. We have dirty minds........ Okaaayyyy this is awkward. Gak seharusnya sih aku ngaku karena akhirnya aib kita kebuka, tapi yah, that's the truth *innocent face*. Bahkan sejak kita kelas 6, aku sama Vika selalu nganggap kalau Michael itu sexy, hot, dan kita bisa kena Mikegasm kapan aja *OMG FORGIVE ME PLEASE I'M JUST A CHILD*. Sekarang, kita sibuk mantengin timeline berisi tweet tentang Grenis... *SHITTT WHY AM I CONFESSING THIS*. Uhm, okay.
So, finally.... The point is, WE'RE NOT NORMAL. Kita bakal selalu saling ejek satu sama lain, kita bakal saling jenggut, saling pukul, saling gigit, tapi kita gak akan pernah ngelakuin itu di belakang. Kalau kita marah, kita marah di depan. Aku yakin, haqqul yakin these two girls bukan backstabber. Aku percaya sama mereka, dan aku tahu, apapun yang terjadi, kita gak akan pernah ngekhianatin persahabatan ini. Our friendship is precious dan cuma ada satu di dunia<333
P.S.: i may laugh when they fall, but when i finish, i'll help them to stand up again.
Freaky Holiday.
HEY! I've finished my finals and I've also got my report book (?), so it's time for H O L I D A Y!! Or should I say, freaky Holiday.
Why so freaky?
Because I woke up this afternoon with a freaky thought that maybe I'll spend the rest of this holiday by doing nothing. At all. Again. Just like what I did last semester. I have no clue when will my life get better.
Since I have nothing to do, this holiday, I've learnt how to procrastinate like a professional. You know, I've learnt how to procrastinate my shower time, my wake up time, and especially how to turn off my alarm without looking (which I've practiced a lot for the past few months, so I'm getting really good at it). The only thing that I don't, and will never procrastinate is my eating time.. Because, you know, we need food to live and I can't live without eating. Well, at least I have something to be proud of.
Besides procrastinating, I also like to sleep. Like, I can go to bed at 2 AM and wake up at 2 or 3 PM. One of the main reasons why I'm doing this is because I don't feel like I have anything to do with my life, so what's the use of being awake when you can sleep all day? The other reason is simply because I'm a lazy-ass.
If you can't find me laying on my couch or bed, you probably will find me eating some snacks in front of the TV. Yesterday, my Dad and I bought a lot of chips, milk, sodas, biscuits, candies, and other crunchy-munchy stuffs. So now I indulge myself with those lovely snacks. Don't be surprised if I gained 5 kilos when I get back to school. I just can't help it.
And of course, my best friend for holiday is my PC. I sit in front of it like all the time. I play video games, spend my time on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Tumblr, Polyvore, 9GAG, YouTube, etc., and try to download the entire songs of Living Things album for free. It's pretty entertaining. I'm also trying to download a bunch of games and apps for my Android, though it may take a little bit time.
OH! But you know what's good? I FINALLY DON'T MISS ADVENTURE TIME OR SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS' EPISODES! I finally can watch them without getting disturbed by things like school, homework, etc etc etc etc. I guess my holiday isn't that bad.
P.S.: I actually went to the mall with Vika and Assyifaa on Monday, and went to another mall on Tuesday. It was pretty fun actually. I had a great time..
Why so freaky?
Because I woke up this afternoon with a freaky thought that maybe I'll spend the rest of this holiday by doing nothing. At all. Again. Just like what I did last semester. I have no clue when will my life get better.
Since I have nothing to do, this holiday, I've learnt how to procrastinate like a professional. You know, I've learnt how to procrastinate my shower time, my wake up time, and especially how to turn off my alarm without looking (which I've practiced a lot for the past few months, so I'm getting really good at it). The only thing that I don't, and will never procrastinate is my eating time.. Because, you know, we need food to live and I can't live without eating. Well, at least I have something to be proud of.
Besides procrastinating, I also like to sleep. Like, I can go to bed at 2 AM and wake up at 2 or 3 PM. One of the main reasons why I'm doing this is because I don't feel like I have anything to do with my life, so what's the use of being awake when you can sleep all day? The other reason is simply because I'm a lazy-ass.
If you can't find me laying on my couch or bed, you probably will find me eating some snacks in front of the TV. Yesterday, my Dad and I bought a lot of chips, milk, sodas, biscuits, candies, and other crunchy-munchy stuffs. So now I indulge myself with those lovely snacks. Don't be surprised if I gained 5 kilos when I get back to school. I just can't help it.
And of course, my best friend for holiday is my PC. I sit in front of it like all the time. I play video games, spend my time on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Tumblr, Polyvore, 9GAG, YouTube, etc., and try to download the entire songs of Living Things album for free. It's pretty entertaining. I'm also trying to download a bunch of games and apps for my Android, though it may take a little bit time.
OH! But you know what's good? I FINALLY DON'T MISS ADVENTURE TIME OR SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS' EPISODES! I finally can watch them without getting disturbed by things like school, homework, etc etc etc etc. I guess my holiday isn't that bad.
P.S.: I actually went to the mall with Vika and Assyifaa on Monday, and went to another mall on Tuesday. It was pretty fun actually. I had a great time..
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Waiting for the End
So... I'm really in love with a song right now. Really, really love it. Like, it has been stuck in my head for like, I don't know, 2 weeks? Well this song is called Waiting for the End by Linkin Park, which is one of my favorite bands ever. I'm sure most of you already knew it before, because it's kinda popular.
This song is particularly about being left by someone who meant (almost) everything for... the singer that he couldn't let them go, and he couldn't move on with his life. Although he knew what it took to move on. So he felt lonely, and desperate, and he sang this song to express his feelings.
Yeah, it's not a happy, cheerful song. But somehow I feel like there's so much that I can relate to this song. Maybe it's how the lyrics describe the feelings so perfectly, or maybe it's just the way Chester and Mike sang it. Well then, I'm gonna give you the lyrics so you'll see what I'm talking about!!
P.S.: for the MV, click HERE!!
This song is particularly about being left by someone who meant (almost) everything for... the singer that he couldn't let them go, and he couldn't move on with his life. Although he knew what it took to move on. So he felt lonely, and desperate, and he sang this song to express his feelings.
Yeah, it's not a happy, cheerful song. But somehow I feel like there's so much that I can relate to this song. Maybe it's how the lyrics describe the feelings so perfectly, or maybe it's just the way Chester and Mike sang it. Well then, I'm gonna give you the lyrics so you'll see what I'm talking about!!
Waiting for the End
[Mike:]
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear
[Chester:]
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go
I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so
I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
[Mike:]
What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again
[Chester(till end):]
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got
[Mike:]
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear
[Chester:]
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go
I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so
I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
[Mike:]
What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again
[Chester(till end):]
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got
[Mike:]
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear
P.S.: for the MV, click HERE!!
probably one of the best convos... ever!!
So... This conversation is from one of my favorite Disney movies, Hercules (1997, for the detail, click here). This is on the scene where Hades (the Lord of Underworld) tried to convince Meg (Hercules' first love) to stop loving Hercules. What I love the most is the point of Hades' words.
Hades: I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.
Meg: This one's different! He's honest, he's sweet... and he would never do anything to hurt me!!
Hades: Oh please.... HE'S A GUY!!!
Friday, June 22, 2012
.... and this. hurts like shit.
"To be honest, I let people take advantage of me. It's not that I don't notice they're just using me, it's just that I give in too easily. I let people in, and let myself vulnerable of getting stepped all over. I don't mind the fact that I'm only a second choice, because I'd rather see them happy. Hell yeah it hurts like shit. But I know better now. So if you ask me why I always push people away, blame the ones that came before you. I can't handle anymore people that are just temporary."
from http://kushandwizdom.tumblr.com/ again. this one........ it just fits me perfectly. i almost dropped a tear. ALMOST.
from http://kushandwizdom.tumblr.com/ again. this one........ it just fits me perfectly. i almost dropped a tear. ALMOST.
This is just.... Gosh.
"I used to think certain people in my life were the real deal. That we'd stay tight forever. Now, the older I get, I finally start to realize. In your entire life you can probably count your true friends on one hand. Maybe even one finger. Those are the people you need to cherish. I wouldn't trade one of them for a hundred of the other kind. I'd rather be completely alone with a bunch of people who aren't real, people who are just passing time."
Cuz I'm bored.
- 1: Real Name? Sarah Fauziyyah Hana
- 2: Current crush!? If I told his name everything would be screwed.. but his initial is FL
- 3: Addiction? Lion, Music.
- 4: How tall am I? Around 160 cm
- 5: Relationship status? Uhm, single.
- 6: Girls I trust? My best fraandss<3
- 7: Boys I trust? Some boys at osis.. not all of them though.
- 9: Current mood? Boredddd as hell
- 10: When was the last time I did something for the 1st time? Idk, last year?
- 11: Confession I never really care about people...
- 12: Who I miss? The answer would be embarrassing, but one of them is Michael Jackson<3
- 13: Who I last hugged? My mom...
- 14: Who understands me? no freaking one.
- 15: Someone who is always there for me Like i know.
- 16: Last Text? My friend Auliya
- 17: Who’s a stranger? Somebody that I used to know hahaha
- 18: Who makes me laugh the most? My friends
- 19: Who I do the craziest stuff with? Vika and Assyifaa
- 20: Who makes me smile? Person on number 2................
- 21: What am i listening to? Currently Linkin Park
- 22: Turn on’s? Lips biting, sharp eyes haha
- 23: Turn offs? uhm.
- 24. Bestfriends? Vika and Assyifaa!!!
- 26: Second confess? I swear a lot. Like, a looooottttt
- 27: What I hate? some teachers, fake promises, sound of screaming, people who remember everything about my sister but nothing about me, people who use me for their own good, awful music, bieber and beliebers (sorry but thats the truth), goin to school and dealing with people who underestimate me, some bitches at school, being unable to give my opinion
- 28: Who’s annoying? my sister sometimes, all the teachers, bitches at school.
- 29: Favorite Sex position? hahahahaah
- 30: Last person to give you butterflies? person on number 2 :/
Got this from Tumblr!!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
"I Just Can't."
"I can't trust many people these days. People tend to use me for their own good, tend to lie to me, and sometimes even leave me for better people. I can't trust people, after all that's happened to me. I'm not clueless, I just know what to expect when people say they care for me. I just don't see the point in trusting people when I know they're eventually going to just use me for their own good."
- kushandwizdom.tumblr.com
- kushandwizdom.tumblr.com
heh.
Hi. Sorry for my (again!) late post. I just finished my final exams and I got my report card this morning, so you know, I was really busy with studying stuffs and blah blah blah. But well, let's get started on our new topic.
You see, I've read one of my friend's blog, and it was........... AWESOME. No, really. I almost never compliment a blog because I've seen a lot of blogs which aren't so original. You know, like they copied and pasted an article and posted it on their blogs. But this one, is different.
So... Her blog is particularly about her and her ex, how she still can't move on even after a long time, how those tears keep coming out of her eyes, and how she misses that guy so damn much. Sounds boring, eh? I know. But believe me, her story is NOT just another teen love story.
Maybe because she describes every pain so deeply that we can also feel her pain, or maybe her pain is actually that bad. But, I believe, when someone writes something that can make you feel what they feel, then one is a true writer. That I found on my friend's blog. Every word she writes makes me wanna cry, too. Maybe it's just a ridiculous heart-breaking, caused by a not-so-cute guy, basically not something to cried over, but she made it seems so desperately sad AND serious at the same time. If it wasn't about her, I could have laughed and probably called her an attention seeker. But I can't. Yeah, I guess she's really good at writing. She's got talent. I know it. I'm pretty sure that if she made a novel, she'd be so damn popular.
Anyway... After I read my friend's blog, I'm kinda wondering. What if actually everyone's problem is a serious thing? I mean, look at the fourth paragraph of this article. I could just laugh at her because I'd thought that her problem is just a cheesy, little one. But it isn't to her, right? And what if when we say "Get over it, it's not a big deal," it's actually a big deal and even we can't get over it? What if the size of a problem depends on how strength the person is? If that's so, yes, I do feel guilty and... selfish.
Look at me. All this time, all I care about is me and how big my problems are. I keep crying (ha ha ha like I can cry) at the same thing and declaring that my problems are like the biggest ones. How stupid is that sound? I'm not saying that my problems are no problem, because I wouldn't cry if they weren't, but they're indeed not the biggest nor the hardest. They're hard as heck, but I'm not the only one who needs to face them. There are seven billion people on Earth, and, compared to them, I'm just a single piece that anyone wouldn't give a f*** about (sorry).
I need to stop being so selfish and complain about every s*** (SORRY, I couldn't help it) I'm going through. I need to be like a..... boy, who doesn't really complain about everything and act like there's nothing wrong.
K, bye for now. xx
You see, I've read one of my friend's blog, and it was........... AWESOME. No, really. I almost never compliment a blog because I've seen a lot of blogs which aren't so original. You know, like they copied and pasted an article and posted it on their blogs. But this one, is different.
So... Her blog is particularly about her and her ex, how she still can't move on even after a long time, how those tears keep coming out of her eyes, and how she misses that guy so damn much. Sounds boring, eh? I know. But believe me, her story is NOT just another teen love story.
Maybe because she describes every pain so deeply that we can also feel her pain, or maybe her pain is actually that bad. But, I believe, when someone writes something that can make you feel what they feel, then one is a true writer. That I found on my friend's blog. Every word she writes makes me wanna cry, too. Maybe it's just a ridiculous heart-breaking, caused by a not-so-cute guy, basically not something to cried over, but she made it seems so desperately sad AND serious at the same time. If it wasn't about her, I could have laughed and probably called her an attention seeker. But I can't. Yeah, I guess she's really good at writing. She's got talent. I know it. I'm pretty sure that if she made a novel, she'd be so damn popular.
Anyway... After I read my friend's blog, I'm kinda wondering. What if actually everyone's problem is a serious thing? I mean, look at the fourth paragraph of this article. I could just laugh at her because I'd thought that her problem is just a cheesy, little one. But it isn't to her, right? And what if when we say "Get over it, it's not a big deal," it's actually a big deal and even we can't get over it? What if the size of a problem depends on how strength the person is? If that's so, yes, I do feel guilty and... selfish.
Look at me. All this time, all I care about is me and how big my problems are. I keep crying (ha ha ha like I can cry) at the same thing and declaring that my problems are like the biggest ones. How stupid is that sound? I'm not saying that my problems are no problem, because I wouldn't cry if they weren't, but they're indeed not the biggest nor the hardest. They're hard as heck, but I'm not the only one who needs to face them. There are seven billion people on Earth, and, compared to them, I'm just a single piece that anyone wouldn't give a f*** about (sorry).
I need to stop being so selfish and complain about every s*** (SORRY, I couldn't help it) I'm going through. I need to be like a..... boy, who doesn't really complain about everything and act like there's nothing wrong.
K, bye for now. xx
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
What? Hi.
Hi everyone. Hi to the people who bother to visit my blog though it has nothing on it. I've read and heard several comments about my blog, and I must say, I love them. Thank you, really. Your appreciate and support makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time for this blog. Sorry for not being here for a kinda-long-time, but it was only because I've been super busy. I'm making an event at school right now, and since I'm the chief executive, I have to work really hard on that. Anyway, this is a big art event with guest stars, loads of sponsorship and decors. I got a lot of help from my mom (who's an event organizer), and I'm wishing very hard for the success of this event :')
Since I have nothing else to say, let's just talk about the latest news that happened in my life.
My life has been... twisted. There are too many things that happened too fast, sometimes awful. I've cried, laughed, loved, and talked uncontrollably. I guess 8th grade affects my life more than I thought it would be. Um, I guess it's better to talk about the most important news first.
Well.... Okay. First of all, let's just say I'm in love. Hahahahahahahaha. But no, really. I like a boy and apparently he likes me too .__.v I'm not gonna tell you a long, romantic love story like I'm supposed to do because that's just ridiculous, but I think this is one of the most important things that ever happened.
We're not dating. Surprising, uh? I know. But that's the truth. I can't tell you why because it's too complicated to explain; I don't even know if there's any explanation. We act like... I don't know. Couple? Um, I guess, but not so much. Best friends? Of course, a lot of times. Enemies? Yea, sometimes. How do I say this without being a hopeless romantic? It's like a mix of lovers, pour it with best friends and shake it up with enemies. We're random. Our attitude is like a dice that's shaken; we can't predict it and we don't have rules or "commitments" (adults' words, btw) that make us act some way. No, because we're not dating. Get it?
It's not that I don't want a relationship. Of course I'd like to have a perfect relationship like what I saw on the movie Leap Year, but does it really necessary? I'm just thinking that maybe, I don't have to have a movie-like relationship to be happy. I'm happy this way.
Anyway, I'm not overthinking about this. I mean, I'm not like "OMG we are great couple we should get married asdfghjklzxcvbnm". Haha, NO. I even often act like I don't care or something (though I really care). Let's just see what happens next.
I think that's all for now. I'm kinda tired, it's raining outside, and I think I'm the only one who's still awake. So yeah I'm going to sleep now. Let's see if there's any text on my phone waiting for an answer ;)
P.S.: i hope he doesn't read this,i'm too shy :(
Since I have nothing else to say, let's just talk about the latest news that happened in my life.
My life has been... twisted. There are too many things that happened too fast, sometimes awful. I've cried, laughed, loved, and talked uncontrollably. I guess 8th grade affects my life more than I thought it would be. Um, I guess it's better to talk about the most important news first.
Well.... Okay. First of all, let's just say I'm in love. Hahahahahahahaha. But no, really. I like a boy and apparently he likes me too .__.v I'm not gonna tell you a long, romantic love story like I'm supposed to do because that's just ridiculous, but I think this is one of the most important things that ever happened.
We're not dating. Surprising, uh? I know. But that's the truth. I can't tell you why because it's too complicated to explain; I don't even know if there's any explanation. We act like... I don't know. Couple? Um, I guess, but not so much. Best friends? Of course, a lot of times. Enemies? Yea, sometimes. How do I say this without being a hopeless romantic? It's like a mix of lovers, pour it with best friends and shake it up with enemies. We're random. Our attitude is like a dice that's shaken; we can't predict it and we don't have rules or "commitments" (adults' words, btw) that make us act some way. No, because we're not dating. Get it?
It's not that I don't want a relationship. Of course I'd like to have a perfect relationship like what I saw on the movie Leap Year, but does it really necessary? I'm just thinking that maybe, I don't have to have a movie-like relationship to be happy. I'm happy this way.
Anyway, I'm not overthinking about this. I mean, I'm not like "OMG we are great couple we should get married asdfghjklzxcvbnm". Haha, NO. I even often act like I don't care or something (though I really care). Let's just see what happens next.
I think that's all for now. I'm kinda tired, it's raining outside, and I think I'm the only one who's still awake. So yeah I'm going to sleep now. Let's see if there's any text on my phone waiting for an answer ;)
P.S.: i hope he doesn't read this,
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
you really can't see it huh? the way she looks at you isn't the same way she looks at other guys, you idiot. and when you say "she doesn't give enough clues" that's because she's SCARED. she's scared that she might annoys you. she's scared that maybe you're playing video games right now, and don't wanna be disturbed. that when she says hi, you might think that's scary. and when she tries to text you, you might know her feelings for you. yes, SHE'S SCARED.
just a simple note before i take a shower. and yeah, this is the newest story of my life.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Marvin's Room
okay. sooo i'm in LOVE with a song right now, like this song gets stuck in my head for all day long .__. it's called Marvin's Room, JoJo's version (somehow it's the only version i love).
here's the lyrics btw :)
Marvin's Room
I've been up three days
Adderall and Redbull
This call is a mistake
There’s something strong in this water bottle
I hear you got a new chick
But that's a little Barbie doll
I feel so pathetic
But you still haven’t heard it all
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me, I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her I know I’m in your head
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best boy you can’t do better
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better
[Verse 2]
I ran into your homeboys
They’re all fucking idiots
You’re not even my boyfriend
But They're tripping because I’m in the club
Yeah that’s right I’m dancing
And something cool is in my cup
I’ma send a sexy picture
To remind you what you’ve given up
[Chorus]
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me, I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her I know I’m in your head
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best boy you can’t do better
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better
Saturday, January 7, 2012
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Well then. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Aku tahu kemarin aku bilang aku tidak merayakan tahun baru, tapi untuk menghargai orang-orang yang merayakannya, aku tetap akan bilang Happy New Year.
Sebetulnya bukan masalah perayaan tahun baru yang akan aku ceritakan. Ada sesuatu yang lebih membuatku berpikir dibanding itu.
Kau ingat, kan, pesta Tahun Baru yang dirayakan di rumah saudaraku tanggal 31 Desember lalu? Yah, pestanya lumayan sih. Barbecuenya enak sekali. Jagungnya juga lumayan. Sayangnya, semuanya kurang berkesan. Entah kurang apanya. Pokoknya, "sesuatu" yang akan aku bicarakan ini jauh lebih mengesankan.
Ketika aku sedang asyik-asyiknya makan daging panggang dengan saus dan sosis, kakekku berkata, "Akan ada Sule di rumah seberang. Mau kesana?"
"Sule?" tanyaku bodoh. Kakekku mengangguk. Kalau kau orang Indonesia asli, aku yakin kau tahu siapa Sule. Yah, dia komedian terkenal, kan? Lawakannya juga lucu. Jadi ketika kakekku mengajakku ke rumah seberang, aku setuju saja. Lagipula ia suka Michael Jackson.
Ketika aku masuk ke rumah seberang (itu julukanku untuk rumah itu), aku terpana. Rumah itu adalah rumah dengan ukuran SUPER BESAR, lengkap dengan taman besar di tengah rumah. Jadi, bentuk rumah itu setengah lingkaran, dan taman besar itu terletak "di dalam" rumah. Bagus, ya? Tentu saja. Ditambah lagi dengan dekorasi panggung dan tenda yang cukup mewah, plus lampu-lampu berwarna-warni yang ditata diatas tanaman-tanaman disana, kesannya jadi seperti tanaman merambat yang menyala. Tiba-tiba aku merasa pesta barbecue-ku biasa saja.
Jujur, ketika sampai disana, aku tidak memerhatikan lawakan Sule dan kawan-kawan. Aku lebih memerhatikan suasana disana. Banyak sekali orang yang hadir; rupanya sang tuan rumah mengundang seluruh warga di perumahan itu. Ketika Sule melawak, semua penonton tertawa terbahak-bahak (tawa yang terlalu keras biasanya tak terdengar tulus, ya? Apa hanya aku yang merasa begitu?). Tamu-tamu yang lain, yang tak memilih ikut menonton Sule, lebih senang duduk-duduk di ruang tamu sambil bergosip. Aku sempat melihat ada anak-anak di ruang keluarga (yang besarnya minta ampun), tidur-tiduran sambil menonton televisi. Aku, yang merupakan satu-satunya orang asing, agak merasa tersisihkan.
Lama-lama, lawakan Sule menarik perhatianku juga. Uh, tidak, bukan lawakannya, tapi gayanya. Pernahkah kamu bertemu seseorang yang begitu nyentrik sampai kau tak bisa berhenti memerhatikannya? Itu yang aku pikirkan ketika melihat Sule tampil. Lalu aku berpikir: bagaimana rasanya jadi orang terkenal? Aku yakin banyak sekali orang yang mengandalkanmu sebagai tokoh masyarakat; sebagai orang yang dikagumi publik. Aku juga yakin, ada ratusan, bahkan ribuan orang yang berharap bisa mengenalmu. Dan aku yakin, semua itu tidak mudah.
Bayangkan saja. Ketika kau datang ke suatu tempat, kau jadi sorotan publik. Semua mata terpaku padamu. Yang akan selanjutnya terjadi adalah munculnya komentar-komentar. Orang akan membicarakan gayamu, caramu berpakaian, logatmu ketika berbicara, model rambutmu, dan bahkan mungkin jenis-jenis barang yang kau bawa. Tentu saja semua itu menyenangkan (siapa sih yang tak mau jadi sorotan publik dan dikagumi?), tapi ketika apa yang kau lakukan tak memenuhi "kriteria" masyarakat, maka kau dianggap gagal. Percaya deh, aku tahu.
Aku tahu menjadi seorang tokoh terkenal itu tidak gampang. Kau harus selalu bertingkah baik dan tidak membuat onar, atau kau akan dicap jelek. Atau mungkin kalau kau bertingkah terlalu baik, para pembuat acara gosip akan membuat namamu jelek dengan berita palsu. Aku juga tak tahu kenapa aku bisa tahu, tapi sebaiknya kau percaya padaku.
Aku buru-buru membuyarkan lamunanku. Ketika Sule melawak lagi dan penonton tertawa makin keras, kembang api pertama meledak di kejauhan. Lalu kembang api kedua datang. Lalu yang ketiga. Keempat. Kelima. Semuanya berwarna merah, hijau, dan biru serta ungu, menimbulkan suara ledakan yang, anehnya, cukup enak didengar. Akhirnya, kakekku mengajakku kembali ke lokasi pesta.
Kembali ke lokasi pesta di rumah saudaraku rasanya seperti kembali ke ruang kedap suara setelah berjam-jam menghabiskan waktu di jalan raya yang kena macet. Suara-suara yang berisik dan tak keruan menghilang, berganti dengan suara mengobrol kecil dari mulut saudara-saudaraku. Tanpa sadar, waktu telah menunjukkan pukul 23.45 dan kami tahu kami harus menyiapkan kembang api dari sekarang.
Kami mempunyai kembang api berukuran ultra besar di garasi. Kau tahu, kembang api yang dipakai di alun-alun kota, yang bisa meledak sampai tinggi sekali dan mengeluarkan bermacam-macam warna. Yah, kami punya lebih dari lima bungkus yang seperti itu. Pukul 23.55, kami menyalakan kembang api besar pertama kami.
Kau takkan bisa membayangkan indahnya melihat kembang api meledak tepat diatas kepalamu dari jarak yang sangat dekat. Kembang api pertama itu meluncur tinggi ke atas, awalnya hanya berupa cipratan emas, tapi ketika sampai di langit, cipratan itu meledak, membentuk bunga kamboja berwarna merah dan emas cerah. Kembang api selanjutnya berwarna hijau dan emas, dengan pola yang sama namun ukurannya lebih besar. Tak lama setelah itu, rumah seberang juga meledakkan kembang api pertama mereka, yang berwarna emas.
Yang selanjutnya terjadi adalah "perang" kembang api. Bukan perang betulan, sih. Tapi entah kenapa, setiap kami meledakkan satu kembang api, rumah seberang juga melakukannya. Tak jarang kembang api kami bertemu dan bertabrakan, menciptakan kombinasi yang mega indah. Aku tidak bisa berhenti tersenyum saat itu.
Yah... Itulah tulisanku menyambut Tahun Baru ini. Aku tahu aku telat mengucapkannya, jadi maaf. Tolong beritahu aku pendapatmu tentang tulisanku ini, baik kritik, pujian maupun saran. Bye..
Sebetulnya bukan masalah perayaan tahun baru yang akan aku ceritakan. Ada sesuatu yang lebih membuatku berpikir dibanding itu.
Kau ingat, kan, pesta Tahun Baru yang dirayakan di rumah saudaraku tanggal 31 Desember lalu? Yah, pestanya lumayan sih. Barbecuenya enak sekali. Jagungnya juga lumayan. Sayangnya, semuanya kurang berkesan. Entah kurang apanya. Pokoknya, "sesuatu" yang akan aku bicarakan ini jauh lebih mengesankan.
Ketika aku sedang asyik-asyiknya makan daging panggang dengan saus dan sosis, kakekku berkata, "Akan ada Sule di rumah seberang. Mau kesana?"
"Sule?" tanyaku bodoh. Kakekku mengangguk. Kalau kau orang Indonesia asli, aku yakin kau tahu siapa Sule. Yah, dia komedian terkenal, kan? Lawakannya juga lucu. Jadi ketika kakekku mengajakku ke rumah seberang, aku setuju saja. Lagipula ia suka Michael Jackson.
Ketika aku masuk ke rumah seberang (itu julukanku untuk rumah itu), aku terpana. Rumah itu adalah rumah dengan ukuran SUPER BESAR, lengkap dengan taman besar di tengah rumah. Jadi, bentuk rumah itu setengah lingkaran, dan taman besar itu terletak "di dalam" rumah. Bagus, ya? Tentu saja. Ditambah lagi dengan dekorasi panggung dan tenda yang cukup mewah, plus lampu-lampu berwarna-warni yang ditata diatas tanaman-tanaman disana, kesannya jadi seperti tanaman merambat yang menyala. Tiba-tiba aku merasa pesta barbecue-ku biasa saja.
Jujur, ketika sampai disana, aku tidak memerhatikan lawakan Sule dan kawan-kawan. Aku lebih memerhatikan suasana disana. Banyak sekali orang yang hadir; rupanya sang tuan rumah mengundang seluruh warga di perumahan itu. Ketika Sule melawak, semua penonton tertawa terbahak-bahak (tawa yang terlalu keras biasanya tak terdengar tulus, ya? Apa hanya aku yang merasa begitu?). Tamu-tamu yang lain, yang tak memilih ikut menonton Sule, lebih senang duduk-duduk di ruang tamu sambil bergosip. Aku sempat melihat ada anak-anak di ruang keluarga (yang besarnya minta ampun), tidur-tiduran sambil menonton televisi. Aku, yang merupakan satu-satunya orang asing, agak merasa tersisihkan.
Lama-lama, lawakan Sule menarik perhatianku juga. Uh, tidak, bukan lawakannya, tapi gayanya. Pernahkah kamu bertemu seseorang yang begitu nyentrik sampai kau tak bisa berhenti memerhatikannya? Itu yang aku pikirkan ketika melihat Sule tampil. Lalu aku berpikir: bagaimana rasanya jadi orang terkenal? Aku yakin banyak sekali orang yang mengandalkanmu sebagai tokoh masyarakat; sebagai orang yang dikagumi publik. Aku juga yakin, ada ratusan, bahkan ribuan orang yang berharap bisa mengenalmu. Dan aku yakin, semua itu tidak mudah.
Bayangkan saja. Ketika kau datang ke suatu tempat, kau jadi sorotan publik. Semua mata terpaku padamu. Yang akan selanjutnya terjadi adalah munculnya komentar-komentar. Orang akan membicarakan gayamu, caramu berpakaian, logatmu ketika berbicara, model rambutmu, dan bahkan mungkin jenis-jenis barang yang kau bawa. Tentu saja semua itu menyenangkan (siapa sih yang tak mau jadi sorotan publik dan dikagumi?), tapi ketika apa yang kau lakukan tak memenuhi "kriteria" masyarakat, maka kau dianggap gagal. Percaya deh, aku tahu.
Aku tahu menjadi seorang tokoh terkenal itu tidak gampang. Kau harus selalu bertingkah baik dan tidak membuat onar, atau kau akan dicap jelek. Atau mungkin kalau kau bertingkah terlalu baik, para pembuat acara gosip akan membuat namamu jelek dengan berita palsu. Aku juga tak tahu kenapa aku bisa tahu, tapi sebaiknya kau percaya padaku.
Aku buru-buru membuyarkan lamunanku. Ketika Sule melawak lagi dan penonton tertawa makin keras, kembang api pertama meledak di kejauhan. Lalu kembang api kedua datang. Lalu yang ketiga. Keempat. Kelima. Semuanya berwarna merah, hijau, dan biru serta ungu, menimbulkan suara ledakan yang, anehnya, cukup enak didengar. Akhirnya, kakekku mengajakku kembali ke lokasi pesta.
Kembali ke lokasi pesta di rumah saudaraku rasanya seperti kembali ke ruang kedap suara setelah berjam-jam menghabiskan waktu di jalan raya yang kena macet. Suara-suara yang berisik dan tak keruan menghilang, berganti dengan suara mengobrol kecil dari mulut saudara-saudaraku. Tanpa sadar, waktu telah menunjukkan pukul 23.45 dan kami tahu kami harus menyiapkan kembang api dari sekarang.
Kami mempunyai kembang api berukuran ultra besar di garasi. Kau tahu, kembang api yang dipakai di alun-alun kota, yang bisa meledak sampai tinggi sekali dan mengeluarkan bermacam-macam warna. Yah, kami punya lebih dari lima bungkus yang seperti itu. Pukul 23.55, kami menyalakan kembang api besar pertama kami.
Kau takkan bisa membayangkan indahnya melihat kembang api meledak tepat diatas kepalamu dari jarak yang sangat dekat. Kembang api pertama itu meluncur tinggi ke atas, awalnya hanya berupa cipratan emas, tapi ketika sampai di langit, cipratan itu meledak, membentuk bunga kamboja berwarna merah dan emas cerah. Kembang api selanjutnya berwarna hijau dan emas, dengan pola yang sama namun ukurannya lebih besar. Tak lama setelah itu, rumah seberang juga meledakkan kembang api pertama mereka, yang berwarna emas.
Yang selanjutnya terjadi adalah "perang" kembang api. Bukan perang betulan, sih. Tapi entah kenapa, setiap kami meledakkan satu kembang api, rumah seberang juga melakukannya. Tak jarang kembang api kami bertemu dan bertabrakan, menciptakan kombinasi yang mega indah. Aku tidak bisa berhenti tersenyum saat itu.
Yah... Itulah tulisanku menyambut Tahun Baru ini. Aku tahu aku telat mengucapkannya, jadi maaf. Tolong beritahu aku pendapatmu tentang tulisanku ini, baik kritik, pujian maupun saran. Bye..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)