Sunday, July 29, 2012
..
im over it. im over him. i dont care anymore. i dont spare a minute to check his text anymore. i dont wait for him. i dont wish for him to come back. i dont want it the way it used to be. i know it never meant to last. i dont regret it. im okay. im fine. im good. im done. theres no use of being sad. theres no need to analyze it. i dont need any reason for this. everything's crystal clear. and it's time for me to move on.
.
I DON'T CARE.
That's it. I'm tired of caring way too much. I'm done. From now on, I won't care about any damn problem around me. I'm sick of crying, overthinking, being sad, angry, depressed, desperate, mad, ignored, betrayed, everything. I've had enough of trusting people then being left eventually. I'm done regretting.
Anyway, my mom told me that I shouldn't really care about what people think about me. At the end, I live for myself. And yeah, I'll do it from now on.
That's it. I'm tired of caring way too much. I'm done. From now on, I won't care about any damn problem around me. I'm sick of crying, overthinking, being sad, angry, depressed, desperate, mad, ignored, betrayed, everything. I've had enough of trusting people then being left eventually. I'm done regretting.
Anyway, my mom told me that I shouldn't really care about what people think about me. At the end, I live for myself. And yeah, I'll do it from now on.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
If you can't get someone off of your mind they are probably supposed to be there.
But they're not. And it hurts like shit.
Friday, July 20, 2012
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASSYIFAA!!
Hi. Okay, so today's July 21st, the first day of Ramadhan (I'm not hungry btw :D) and of course, Assyifaa Yulisna Haris aka Sheep's 14th birthday!! I'm as excited as she is, or even more. Well, now that I have nothing to do, I shall post one portrait of her (only one, because I can't find any single pic of her ANYWHERE. Ugh screw you Sheep) :3 Cekidottt.
it's the three of us actually.. im the one wearing red shirt and Vika's wearing grey shirt. whatever. Sheep is the one with glasses.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
.. No.
No. I'm not a nice girl. I'm not that smart, pretty girl who has a pure heart. I'm not that girl who can tell jokes and make everyone laugh. I'm not good at starting a conversation, and I don't try to keep in touch with old "friends". I don't always text back. I don't let random people enter my life, and I don't let them go easily too. I don't want to smile all the time, I honestly don't want to be surrounded by a lot of people, even if they're my friends. I don't like to go out with "friends", I'd rather go all alone. I love those moments when I can find a place for myself, with no one besides me. It feels amazing. I don't have to start a conversation, I don't have to make someone smile, I don't have to ask back, I don't have to make sure that nobody gets bored, and most of all, I can finally think about myself, only myself, and not with the world. I'm sick of thinking about anyone else but me. Being alone is like an expensive day spa for me.
But one thing for sure, I'm great at hiding all of the feelings above inside.
Bittersweet..
Bittersweet. What a life. Yeah, we get hurt, we laugh, we cry, we sing, we smile, we ignore, we care, we love, we hate, and they're simply the part of life. Without them, what can make your life colorful?
But then again, sometimes things are not going the way we want them to. Sometimes, some things suddenly turn around and let you down. Even when you didn't expect it. You know, it just happens. It's out of your control, and it's definitely something that you wish was never going to happen. You'll probably be sad for, I don't know, a quite long time, and you'll curse a lot, blaming the life and its unfair progress. Yeah, you'll be sad. And desperate. And dying inside.
This feeling just happened to me a couple days ago (exactly a couple days ago). Um, how do I start it? Someone, whose by chance is very important to me, said that, um, everything's over. You know what I mean, don't you? I'm sorry if you don't, because it's really hard for me to explain it to all of you without seeming like a huge drama queen. What I'm trying to say is that this person left me, or (that so-called) us, and all the memories that we've had together. You know, the old "us" is becoming "just friends" from now on.
Yeah, I was shocked. But did I cry? No. Did I feel terrible and sad and desperate? No. Did I break down and end up hating him? No, of course not. As far as I know, I'm completely fine. Of course this is a pretty huge deal and I still can't believe that it's happening so fast, but somehow, I'm okay.
Listen up. It's not that I don't care about him. Of course I do, I really do. It's just that.. Why being so sad? Being sad is not even worth it. Nothing lasts forever, you know? At the end, everyone will leave you. It's a part of life. A little part of life. I always know that. We can't just try to keep someone to stay in our lives forever; that's just impossible. I'm not saying that everyone is fake, but face it, they will go. They will. A lot of people had came into my life, and yeah, some of them have already walked away. Well, so what? That's what life is all about.
I used to think, why would I allow someone to enter my life if they would leave me eventually? It was such an ambiguous question that I didn't even have the answer. But now, as I grow up, I realize that I don't actually have to ask it. Since I know that everyone will walk away someday, what matters most is how they spend the moment when they're still with us. It's about how they treat us, how they love us, and how they think about us when they stay still. If I had such an amazing moment, why would I regret it? Why would I be sad about it?
Here's my humble opinion: when someone walk away and leave a good memory behind to make you smile, there's absolutely nothing to be cried about. Do not ever regret it. I mean, although it didn't last forever, you did have a good time didn't you? Just remember that one moment, and you'll be very thankful for your life.
Bye. xx.
But then again, sometimes things are not going the way we want them to. Sometimes, some things suddenly turn around and let you down. Even when you didn't expect it. You know, it just happens. It's out of your control, and it's definitely something that you wish was never going to happen. You'll probably be sad for, I don't know, a quite long time, and you'll curse a lot, blaming the life and its unfair progress. Yeah, you'll be sad. And desperate. And dying inside.
This feeling just happened to me a couple days ago (exactly a couple days ago). Um, how do I start it? Someone, whose by chance is very important to me, said that, um, everything's over. You know what I mean, don't you? I'm sorry if you don't, because it's really hard for me to explain it to all of you without seeming like a huge drama queen. What I'm trying to say is that this person left me, or (that so-called) us, and all the memories that we've had together. You know, the old "us" is becoming "just friends" from now on.
Yeah, I was shocked. But did I cry? No. Did I feel terrible and sad and desperate? No. Did I break down and end up hating him? No, of course not. As far as I know, I'm completely fine. Of course this is a pretty huge deal and I still can't believe that it's happening so fast, but somehow, I'm okay.
Listen up. It's not that I don't care about him. Of course I do, I really do. It's just that.. Why being so sad? Being sad is not even worth it. Nothing lasts forever, you know? At the end, everyone will leave you. It's a part of life. A little part of life. I always know that. We can't just try to keep someone to stay in our lives forever; that's just impossible. I'm not saying that everyone is fake, but face it, they will go. They will. A lot of people had came into my life, and yeah, some of them have already walked away. Well, so what? That's what life is all about.
I used to think, why would I allow someone to enter my life if they would leave me eventually? It was such an ambiguous question that I didn't even have the answer. But now, as I grow up, I realize that I don't actually have to ask it. Since I know that everyone will walk away someday, what matters most is how they spend the moment when they're still with us. It's about how they treat us, how they love us, and how they think about us when they stay still. If I had such an amazing moment, why would I regret it? Why would I be sad about it?
Here's my humble opinion: when someone walk away and leave a good memory behind to make you smile, there's absolutely nothing to be cried about. Do not ever regret it. I mean, although it didn't last forever, you did have a good time didn't you? Just remember that one moment, and you'll be very thankful for your life.
Bye. xx.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
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