therasoap

therasoap by sarahfhana featuring a talula blazer

dodol

dodol by sarahfhana on Polyvore

Sang Raksasa

this one's for the anon on askfm who asked for a sad story. sorry, i can't write shortly.

Pada zaman dahulu kala, di negeri antah berantah, ada seorang raksasa yang terbuat dari batu. Ia tinggal di tepi sungai sendirian. Tentu saja, kadang-kadang ia merasa kesepian, tapi ibunya berkata bahwa tidak semua orang mau menerima mereka, jadi daripada mengambil resiko, lebih baik mereka mengasingkan diri saja. Awalnya, sang raksasa menuruti perintah ibunya, tapi semenjak ibunya meninggal gara-gara dipecahkan oleh penduduk desa tahun lalu, ia makin merasa sengsara dan memutuskan untuk mencari teman.

Setelah berjalan cukup lama, sang raksasa melihat sekumpulan gadis sedang bermain di bawah naungan pohon. Meski awalnya ragu, tapi sang raksasa memberanikan diri untuk menyapa mereka. Semoga mereka tidak takut padaku, pikirnya.

"Halo," sapa sang raksasa tersebut pelan. Seketika, gadis-gadis itu menengok ke arahnya. Mereka semua terbelalak, terkejut akan tamu tak diundang itu. Salah seorang gadis, yang rambutnya diikat dua, berteriak sejadi-jadinya dan berlari kabur dari sang raksasa. Teman-temannya pun melakukan hal yang sama. Melihat hal ini, sang raksasa menangis. Ia tak mengerti kenapa orang-orang menjauhinya. Apa salah dia?

Tiba-tiba, sang raksasa merasakan tepukan kecil di betisnya. Ia melihat ke bawah, pandangannya masih kabur akibat air mata. Samar-samar, terlihat seorang gadis kecil yang tersenyum manis padanya.

"Hey," sapa sang gadis. Raksasa mengernyitkan dahinya. Tidakkah gadis itu takut? "Kenapa kau menangis, Raksasa?"

Sang raksasa menggelengkan kepalanya. "Semua orang membenciku," jawabnya, "Aku tidak punya teman."
"Oh, kasihan," sahut sang gadis. "Aku mau menjadi temanmu."

Mata sang raksasa membelalak. Ia tak percaya ada orang yang mau bermain dengannya, padahal tampangnya saja sudah membuat orang lari terbirit-birit. "Be - benarkah?"

"Ya, tentu saja," jawab sang gadis seraya tersenyum lebar. "Mari, ikut aku."

Kemudian, sang raksasa dan gadis itu pun pergi ke sebuah padang bunga yang indah. Di sana, terdapat air terjun yang sangat besar dan terlihat menyejukkan. "Hey," kata gadis itu kepada sang raksasa, "Sepertinya menyenangkan, ya, kalau kita bisa bermain di air terjun itu?"

Hal ini bukan masalah bagi sang raksasa. Karena badannya besar, maka danau air terjun pun terasa dangkal baginya. Maka, ia mengambil sang gadis dengan tangannya dan membawanya.

"Aduh!" teriak sang gadis itu kesakitan. 

Sang raksasa bingung. "Kenapa?" tanyanya.

"Tolong jangan bawa aku seperti ini, genggamanmu terlalu erat. Aku kesakitan," ujar sang gadis. Sang raksasa terkejut, tapi ia pun menurunkan teman barunya itu. Sang gadis pun berlari sendiri ke arah air terjun.

Di akhir hari, sang raksasa puas bermain dengan teman barunya. Sang gadis pun merasa demikian. Ternyata raksasa tidak seburuk yang orang lain katakan. Mereka pun berjanji untuk bertemu di tempat yang sama esok hari dan bermain lagi.

Bulan-bulan berlalu. Sang raksasa dan sang gadis menjadi semakin akrab. Setiap hari, mereka bermain di padang bunga sampai sore. Mereka juga menghabiskan banyak waktu di pinggir air terjun. Tapi, setiap hari pula, sang gadis tidak pernah mewujudkan keinginannya untuk bermain di atas puncak air terjun. Terlalu tinggi, katanya.

Sang raksasa tak tahan melihat sahabatnya merasa sedih karena tak bisa bermain. Jadi, hari itu, ia memutuskan untuk melakukan sesuatu.

"Hey, Gadis," ujar sang raksasa, "Aku punya kejutan untukmu." Ketika sang gadis hendak menjawab, sang raksasa buru-buru mengangkat sang gadis dan menggenggamnya di tangan. Ia akan membawa gadis itu ke puncak air terjun.

"Tidak, Raksasa, jangan!" Seru sang gadis. "Genggamanmu terlalu erat, aku tak bisa bernapas!" Tapi, sang raksasa tidak mendengarkan teriakan sang gadis. Ia terus berjalan, menggenggam gadis itu lebih erat.

Sesampainya di puncak, sang raksasa menurunkan sang gadis. "Ini dia, Kawanku," katanya bangga, "Puncak air terjun impianmu." Namun, sang gadis tak menyahut. Sang raksasa pun bingung dan melihat temannya di tanah, terkapar. Tak bernapas. Ia menjerit sejadi-jadinya. Sang gadis telah tiada di genggamannya.

another sad story.

She cried her eyes out. She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't help it. It wasn't the type of cry that makes you feel better afterwards; it was the type that makes you feel pathetic. She didn't just cry over her life; she cried over everything. Over her sick sister, her mother, her father, the children in Africa, and even the beggar she met yesterday morning. She also cried over him. The guy who -- maybe, just maybe -- used to care about her. She cried because she felt really stupid for actually thought that she meant something for someone. She just realized that she wasn't that important; that everyone, sooner or later, would walk out of her life without any hesitation. Silly me, she thought to herself. Since when did people actually care about her? Well, if they did care, her father wouldn't leave her when she was just a child, her mother wouldn't have a lot of boyfriends, her "friends" would understand her, and that guy wouldn't give up on her. She was sick of everything. She couldn't find any more reason to stay alive. As she wiped her tears away, she grabbed a knife and hoping to leave this world right then.

idek.

I'm so bored and I don't know what to do with my life so I'm just gonna do this. Ugh. No wonder I have less than 10 followers.

• 1. had sex? uhm no...
• 2. bought condoms? no people would question it
• 3. gotten pregnant? noooo
• 4. failed a class? no oh gosh no
• 5. kissed a boy? in my dream, yeah. is it included?
• 6. kissed a girl? im not katy perry so no
• 7. had a job? nopeee
• 8. left the house without my wallet? yeah, whenever im with my mom
• 9. bullied someone on the internet? no. thats a very cruel thing and it does hurt people, you know. you're talking to a person, not a computer.
• 10. sexted? with cleverbot. once. on accident. wtf tho.
• 11. had sex in public? wouldnt it be awkward
• 12. smoked weed? nah its not my thing
• 13. smoked cigarettes? tried once. choked.
• 14. smoked a cigar? uhm no
• 15. drank alcohol? tried it several times and i liked it but i dont drink.
• 16. been to a wedding? a lot of times?
• 17. been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bitch please, im a hardcore internet fan.
• 18. watched tv for 5 hours straight? even more.
• 19. been late for school? lol yeah thats what i do all the time
• 20. kissed in the rain? no but that'd be really, really sweet:)
• 21. showered with someone else? my sister, yeah. years ago lol
• 22. been outside my home country? unfortunately, no</3
• 23. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? yeah, several times
• 24. had lice? ughhh yeah:(
• 25. gotten my heart broken? do you realize who you're talking to?! HELL YES!
• 26. had a credit card? i wish i had
• 27. been to a professional sports game? i dont like, i dont do sports
• 28. broken a bone? no
• 29. been unhappy about my weight? not really. i kinda want to be "chubby" anyway
• 30. won a trophy? yeah several times when i was younger and smarter
• 31. cut myself? almost
• 32. been on a diet? phuck diet.
• 33. rode in a taxi? i dont live under a rock, you know
• 34. stayed up for 24 hours or more? yeah. im a nocturnal btw
• 35. been to a concert? only some small jazz performances..
• 36. had a crush on someone of the same sex? nope. but if i was a guy, i'd probably have.
• 37. had braces? wanted to but it's too mainstream now.. plus i'm scared it'll hurt
• 38. wore make up? who needs make ups when you dont even go outside
• 39. lost my virginity before I was 16? in a fanfic, yeah lmao
• 40. kissed someone a different race than myself? no. and whats with the question? it doesnt matter what race you kiss as long as you love them. ugh.
• 41. Snuck out of the house? nope :/
• 42. had oral sex? nooope
• 43. dyed my hair? i like it this way
• 44. met someone famous? yeah. a lot of times. but they're not even Michael Jackson or 1D so i was like whatevs
• 45. been on vacation? of course duh
• 46. been on a boat? idk. wait. no i guess. but maybe i have.... when i was like 7 or something?
• 47. been on an airplane? yeah
• 48. prank called someone? omg yesss and it was awesome
• 49. taken a pregnancy test? why should i
• 50. been suspended from school? noo

Happy Birthday Greyson Chance!!

Happy Birthday Greyson Chance!! by sarahfhana on Polyvore

Unconscious. I'm not sure about my feeling. And how is that even possible?!

















And I keep staying away. I keep turning my face around as if I didn't saw them (them, because I'm not gonna tell you who that person, and what they gender is.). I keep ignoring them. I don't text them. I don't talk to them. It hurts. It still hurts.

So my sister decided to edit a pic of my and my friends...

Original pic

TROLLOLOL PIC!!!!

vintage

vintage by sarahfhana featuring a vintage lace dress

..

im over it. im over him. i dont care anymore. i dont spare a minute to check his text anymore. i dont wait for him. i dont wish for him to come back. i dont want it the way it used to be. i know it never meant to last. i dont regret it. im okay. im fine. im good. im done. theres no use of being sad. theres no need to analyze it. i dont need any reason for this. everything's crystal clear. and it's time for me to move on.

.

I DON'T CARE.


That's it. I'm tired of caring way too much. I'm done. From now on, I won't care about any damn problem around me. I'm sick of crying, overthinking, being sad, angry, depressed, desperate, mad, ignored, betrayed, everything. I've had enough of trusting people then being left eventually. I'm done regretting.

Anyway, my mom told me that I shouldn't really care about what people think about me. At the end, I live for myself. And yeah, I'll do it from now on.

If you can't get someone off of your mind they are probably supposed to be there.

But they're not. And it hurts like shit.

Happy Birthday Sheep!

Happy Birthday Sheep! by sarahfhana featuring metal jewelry

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASSYIFAA!!

Hi. Okay, so today's July 21st, the first day of Ramadhan (I'm not hungry btw :D) and of course, Assyifaa Yulisna Haris aka Sheep's 14th birthday!! I'm as excited as she is, or even more. Well, now that I have nothing to do, I shall post one portrait of her (only one, because I can't find any single pic of her ANYWHERE. Ugh screw you Sheep) :3 Cekidottt.

 it's the three of us actually.. im the one wearing red shirt and Vika's wearing grey shirt. whatever. Sheep is the one with glasses.

.. No.

No. I'm not a nice girl. I'm not that smart, pretty girl who has a pure heart. I'm not that girl who can tell jokes and make everyone laugh. I'm not good at starting a conversation, and I don't try to keep in touch with old "friends". I don't always text back. I don't let random people enter my life, and I don't let them go easily too. I don't want to smile all the time, I honestly don't want to be surrounded by a lot of people, even if they're my friends. I don't like to go out with "friends", I'd rather go all alone. I love those moments when I can find a place for myself, with no one besides me. It feels amazing. I don't have to start a conversation, I don't have to make someone smile, I don't have to ask back, I don't have to make sure that nobody gets bored, and most of all, I can finally think about myself, only myself, and not with the world. I'm sick of thinking about anyone else but me. Being alone is like an expensive day spa for me.

But one thing for sure, I'm great at hiding all of the feelings above inside.

Bittersweet..

Bittersweet. What a life. Yeah, we get hurt, we laugh, we cry, we sing, we smile, we ignore, we care, we love, we hate, and they're simply the part of life. Without them, what can make your life colorful?

But then again, sometimes things are not going the way we want them to. Sometimes, some things suddenly turn around and let you down. Even when you didn't expect it. You know, it just happens. It's out of your control, and it's definitely something that you wish was never going to happen. You'll probably be sad for, I don't know, a quite long time, and you'll curse a lot, blaming the life and its unfair progress. Yeah, you'll be sad. And desperate. And dying inside.

This feeling just happened to me a couple days ago (exactly a couple days ago). Um, how do I start it? Someone, whose by chance is very important to me, said that, um, everything's over. You know what I mean, don't you? I'm sorry if you don't, because it's really hard for me to explain it to all of you without seeming like a huge drama queen. What I'm trying to say is that this person left me, or (that so-called) us, and all the memories that we've had together. You know, the old "us" is becoming "just friends" from now on.

Yeah, I was shocked. But did I cry? No. Did I feel terrible and sad and desperate? No. Did I break down and end up hating him? No, of course not. As far as I know, I'm completely fine. Of course this is a pretty huge deal and I still can't believe that it's happening so fast, but somehow, I'm okay.

Listen up. It's not that I don't care about him. Of course I do, I really do. It's just that.. Why being so sad? Being sad is not even worth it. Nothing lasts forever, you know? At the end, everyone will leave you. It's a part of life. A little part of life. I always know that. We can't just try to keep someone to stay in our lives forever; that's just impossible. I'm not saying that everyone is fake, but face it, they will go. They will. A lot of people had came into my life, and yeah, some of them have already walked away. Well, so what? That's what life is all about.

I used to think, why would I allow someone to enter my life if they would leave me eventually? It was such an ambiguous question that I didn't even have the answer. But now, as I grow up, I realize that I don't actually have to ask it. Since I know that everyone will walk away someday, what matters most is how they spend the moment when they're still with us. It's about how they treat us, how they love us, and how they think about us when they stay still. If I had such an amazing moment, why would I regret it? Why would I be sad about it?

Here's my humble opinion: when someone walk away and leave a good memory behind to make you smile, there's absolutely nothing to be cried about. Do not ever regret it. I mean, although it didn't last forever, you did have a good time didn't you? Just remember that one moment, and you'll be very thankful for your life.

Bye. xx.

Not Your Average Girl

Not Your Average Girl by sarahfhana featuring a pleated skirt

... AND THESE PICS.

osis, as you would have guessed.

Let's start with the first picture.

I just love this picture so freaking much. It expresses everything I want to say to... youknowwho. I know the words are so cliche and they probably make no sense at all, but who can talk logically when it comes to feelings?

I shall post various portrait, for I possibly have nothing else to share with you, my kind comrades.